You’re lucky you don’t live in Japan, where names are permanent and carry all sorts of legal implications.

I need to remind myself a lot not to judge other women’s decisions as well. I especially catch myself doing it when it comes to having children. I see someone who is younger than I am having babies and my immediate thought is, “Oh my god, you’re too young! You should do this and that and that before you’re tied down with a kid,” when really what I mean is “I am too young. I have all these things I want to do…” I need to be more respectful because we don’t all have the same life plan or timeline. Though 16 is always too young, Jamie Lynn.

Crank- I love the reasoning. Yes, Brian and I are clearly more evolved than the rest of the world. You shall be too when you and your lady move into our spare room.

I really think you should start the band Dickurgess. I think it would be a national sensation. I can already think of a song list…

Also… are you saying you’re not going to use Dickurgess for anything at all? My mid-life crisis can’t be too far off, and I need to keep a pretty good list of band names at the ready.

That said, I’m really joyful that you made the decision to change your name because I know you did what felt right to you. I know that you didn’t take this name change lightly, and it a way that makes it braver than the route I’m planning on taking. It was hard for you to let you of this piece of yourself, and part of me knows that I’ll never change my name simply because I don’t want to go through that emotional process.

Part of feminism is recognizing that both men and women should have the freedom to live full, healthy, happy lives. That includes respecting decisions people make regarding their own well-being and identity. Choosing to change your name doesn’t make you a “bad feminist.” There was a time when it wasn’t even a choice to make; it’s so awesome to me that women can truly go with their gut on this rather than what society dictates.

This take on feminism is something I try to keep in mind every time I’m tempted to judge someone else’s choices. If we all made an effort to recognize everyone’s right to do what makes them happy, we wouldn’t so much rude, unsolicited advice throw our way every time we make a major decision.

Lisa – HAHA, me too! I totally judge based on last name, and that would have been the deciding factor. If Brian’s last name were Ide, for example… oh who am I kidding? I would totally hyphenate to be Gillian Ide-Dicker. Katie Ide, it’s not too late!

Basically what I’m saying is that I judge guys based on how much I like their last names. Haha, no. Though, perhaps this is why I like the Irish so much. Always with the cool last names.

Now that it’s actually happened, I’m more emotional about it than I thought I’d be, too. It’s weird that your changing your name would affect me at all, but when I see “Gillian Burgess,” I feel like I did when I watched you walk down the aisle, and when I hear you say “my husband.” It makes me a little verklempt that you’re all growns up!

I think that as a woman, it’s smart to go with your instincts on changing your last name or not. As a 6-year-old named Max once advised me, “Sometimes it’s good just to do what you want to do. Sometimes that’s the best thing.”

God knows what I’ll do when the time comes. As a writer, I’m using the byline “Melia Dicker,” so I think I’ll stick with that professionally, at least. And as we’ve established, neither Schwindicker nor Dickaman is an improvement. Dicker-Schwindaman might just make the Baby Jesus cry…though it would make Deutschland happy.