Comments on: Separation Anxiety http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/ Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:16:40 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Gillian http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-714 Gillian Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:09:26 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-714 Sher, I was totally thinking the other day how it helped so much just exchanging emails with you when Brian and Steve were on that hellish nine-month deployment. Crappy separations don't get any easier (and I'm totally with you on avoiding thinking about it until I absolutely have to), but at least they are made bearable by having supportive people and beautiful scenery in our lives. I still think when Steve ships out again, you should hightail it to Hawaii so you can drink cocktails on the beach with me. It'll be an excellent distraction. Sher, I was totally thinking the other day how it helped so much just exchanging emails with you when Brian and Steve were on that hellish nine-month deployment. Crappy separations don’t get any easier (and I’m totally with you on avoiding thinking about it until I absolutely have to), but at least they are made bearable by having supportive people and beautiful scenery in our lives.

I still think when Steve ships out again, you should hightail it to Hawaii so you can drink cocktails on the beach with me. It’ll be an excellent distraction.

]]> By: Sher http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-713 Sher Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:39:26 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-713 Gill, this post was so hard for me to read! It brought back a flood of emotions I have been trying to forget, because I know someday soon I'll be in your same position. I fear the time Steve will be away when I'm with him and I worry if I can handle the next deployment when he's away. It's difficult, there are ups and downs and despite the occasional visiting travel trips, deployments are suckity, suck, suck, suckface! I don't know if it will ever get easier, but I know we're each lucky to have 1) great family, 2) wonderful, supportive friends and 3) we both live if fabulous locations, which does help quite a bit. Gill, this post was so hard for me to read! It brought back a flood of emotions I have been trying to forget, because I know someday soon I’ll be in your same position. I fear the time Steve will be away when I’m with him and I worry if I can handle the next deployment when he’s away. It’s difficult, there are ups and downs and despite the occasional visiting travel trips, deployments are suckity, suck, suck, suckface! I don’t know if it will ever get easier, but I know we’re each lucky to have 1) great family, 2) wonderful, supportive friends and 3) we both live if fabulous locations, which does help quite a bit.

]]> By: Gillian http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-712 Gillian Tue, 23 Jun 2009 04:50:27 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-712 Oh, Katie Ide, come and cuddle with me right now! It's ridiculous how much I miss you. Hawaii this winter, for reals. We are also planning on going out for Mardi Gras because more than a year away from New Orleans sounds like a death sentence. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with distance and separation. It just plain sucks, and I'm tired of it. We've earned the right to start our life for reals now, together, in the same place, and I am fresh out of patience (I never had much to begin with). But at least I can stop thinking of myself as weak or lacking because I'm an emotional mess. It is so hard to live in the moment when I keep thinking ahead a few years when we're all back in New Orleans, living in the same 'hood, having dinner parties and cookouts and building the Empire to its full potential. It shall be glorious, but we'll do great things in the meantime. Oh, Katie Ide, come and cuddle with me right now! It’s ridiculous how much I miss you. Hawaii this winter, for reals. We are also planning on going out for Mardi Gras because more than a year away from New Orleans sounds like a death sentence.

I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with distance and separation. It just plain sucks, and I’m tired of it. We’ve earned the right to start our life for reals now, together, in the same place, and I am fresh out of patience (I never had much to begin with). But at least I can stop thinking of myself as weak or lacking because I’m an emotional mess.

It is so hard to live in the moment when I keep thinking ahead a few years when we’re all back in New Orleans, living in the same ‘hood, having dinner parties and cookouts and building the Empire to its full potential. It shall be glorious, but we’ll do great things in the meantime.

]]> By: Ide http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-711 Ide Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:35:25 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-711 Oh, Gillie! I know I'm not the same as Brian, but I can't wait until we can schnuggle again. I miss you! Distance and separation are really hard, and the only people who say they're not are people who have never had to deal with them long-term. I was the weepy mess in the airport security line every single time I left Josh to go back to school. It sucks ass, it's really draining and it never gets easier. It's OK that it doesn't. Being sad is not the same thing as being weak. I can relate to wanting the rest of your life moving. I'm so impatient to get goin' with the move and all that will come after that I can't breathe some days. It's hard to be happy in the moment when I can visualize all the joy that awaits us in the future. You two have so much joy awaiting you as well, and I can't wait until we're all in the same place again so we can really support each other as we build our kickass existence. Oh, Gillie! I know I’m not the same as Brian, but I can’t wait until we can schnuggle again. I miss you!

Distance and separation are really hard, and the only people who say they’re not are people who have never had to deal with them long-term. I was the weepy mess in the airport security line every single time I left Josh to go back to school. It sucks ass, it’s really draining and it never gets easier. It’s OK that it doesn’t. Being sad is not the same thing as being weak.

I can relate to wanting the rest of your life moving. I’m so impatient to get goin’ with the move and all that will come after that I can’t breathe some days. It’s hard to be happy in the moment when I can visualize all the joy that awaits us in the future. You two have so much joy awaiting you as well, and I can’t wait until we’re all in the same place again so we can really support each other as we build our kickass existence.

]]> By: Gillian http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-710 Gillian Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:34:16 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-710 Aw, I love you guys. Thanks, it definitely helps to have such amazing friends and family, even when I wish y'all were closer. I think I can cope a lot better with all the crazy changes when I just let myself cry and be emotional and not try to have everything under control all the time. Who am I kidding? I am a freaking mess every time we move or Brian leaves (which is pretty much every six months), but I'm also not just staying in bed all day crying. This, too, shall pass, right? Love you all and can't wait till you come visit. And yes, everyone needs to be my Skype buddy! it is a miracle drug. Aw, I love you guys. Thanks, it definitely helps to have such amazing friends and family, even when I wish y’all were closer. I think I can cope a lot better with all the crazy changes when I just let myself cry and be emotional and not try to have everything under control all the time. Who am I kidding? I am a freaking mess every time we move or Brian leaves (which is pretty much every six months), but I’m also not just staying in bed all day crying. This, too, shall pass, right?

Love you all and can’t wait till you come visit. And yes, everyone needs to be my Skype buddy! it is a miracle drug.

]]> By: NayNay http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-709 NayNay Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:07:13 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-709 I love you Gillie! I don't think this will ever be easy; you're a strong tough lady. Your approach this time sounds healthy, and remember that it's totally normal to feel these emotions. I am trying to get on the internet bandwagon and actually set up Skype too, so that would be really cool to talk to you and get to see you =) Miss you lots. I love you Gillie! I don’t think this will ever be easy; you’re a strong tough lady. Your approach this time sounds healthy, and remember that it’s totally normal to feel these emotions. I am trying to get on the internet bandwagon and actually set up Skype too, so that would be really cool to talk to you and get to see you =) Miss you lots.

]]> By: Mark H. http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-708 Mark H. Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:55:12 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-708 The best you can do is be honest with yourself about how you are feeling in any given moment. Sounds like you are there and doing your best to keep it together. Always know you have lots of loved ones just a text, tweet, FB post, or (showing my age) a phone call away. Thanks for sharing this difficult moment - it's the challenges in life that make us stronger (and better) people :) The best you can do is be honest with yourself about how you are feeling in any given moment. Sounds like you are there and doing your best to keep it together. Always know you have lots of loved ones just a text, tweet, FB post, or (showing my age) a phone call away. Thanks for sharing this difficult moment – it’s the challenges in life that make us stronger (and better) people :)

]]> By: Lisa http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-707 Lisa Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:56:52 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-707 OK, don't get me all teary-eyed and jealous with the partner in crime stuff. I'm glad you are in that place -- it is healthy. Plus, you're in Hawaii! Sand and sun while healthily missing everyone. I hope to see you soon! OK, don’t get me all teary-eyed and jealous with the partner in crime stuff. I’m glad you are in that place — it is healthy. Plus, you’re in Hawaii! Sand and sun while healthily missing everyone.
I hope to see you soon!

]]> By: Melia http://www.no-dowry.com/2009/06/separation-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-706 Melia Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:01:25 +0000 http://no-dowry.com/2009/06/22/separation-anxiety/#comment-706 I'm so proud of you for all the changes you've braved in the last couple of years, all the moves and the goodbyes and the job uncertainties. Beginning a marriage under normal circumstances is a big life change in itself, without the damn Navy making it extra interesting. I would give anything to your pseudo-husband again in Brian's absence, but I'll do my best through Skype and other Interwebs magic. I'm glad to hear that you're forgiving yourself for needing your loved ones. You have so many people who are caring about you from a distance, and I'm glad to hear that you've already got some ladyfriends in Hawaii. It takes a lot of courage to write about the rough times in addition to the amusing, entertaining ones. I'm usually hesitant to blog when I feel down, but those posts often resonate with readers more than the happy ones. We're all struggling with our internal demons and external circumstances, and it's inspiring to see other people coping with theirs. Remember to treat yourself with the same compassion that you'd give a friend in the same situation! Love you lots. I’m so proud of you for all the changes you’ve braved in the last couple of years, all the moves and the goodbyes and the job uncertainties. Beginning a marriage under normal circumstances is a big life change in itself, without the damn Navy making it extra interesting. I would give anything to your pseudo-husband again in Brian’s absence, but I’ll do my best through Skype and other Interwebs magic. I’m glad to hear that you’re forgiving yourself for needing your loved ones. You have so many people who are caring about you from a distance, and I’m glad to hear that you’ve already got some ladyfriends in Hawaii.

It takes a lot of courage to write about the rough times in addition to the amusing, entertaining ones. I’m usually hesitant to blog when I feel down, but those posts often resonate with readers more than the happy ones. We’re all struggling with our internal demons and external circumstances, and it’s inspiring to see other people coping with theirs. Remember to treat yourself with the same compassion that you’d give a friend in the same situation! Love you lots.

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