Category — Wedding Recap

Brian and I have been married for six months today, which, by Us Weekly standards, means one of us should be dating Angelina Jolie by now. I probably wouldn’t have noticed the date if my wonderful sister hadn’t emailed me with the note: “I’ve been thinking about your six-month wedding anniversary for a while, wanting to give you something to commemorate it. Attached is the extended remix of the toast I gave at the reception, including the parts that I left out because I was winging it up there. Happy anniversary!”

I don’t like to brag, but I have the best sister ever. No, no, I’m sure your sister is cool and all, but I win. Deal with it. Thank you for this, Melia. It made me weep at the wedding, and I still get a little verklempt every time I read it. I can’t wait till the day when I get to return the favor, grabbing the mike after a few too many glasses of champagne and slurring, “You can’ have ‘er… she’s mine!”

Toasting with my two favorite people

To Gill and Brian
Maid of Honor’s Toast
January 17, 2009

As you may know, I’m Gill’s older sister by three years. We’ve been close throughout our lives, and she’s one of my favorite people on this earth. There’s something about having a sister so close in age that’s like nothing else. We have the same mannerisms, and it’s common for us to say things in unison. We have almost a secret language that comes from the roughly 10,000 inside jokes that date back over 20 years. I say one word and she’ll know what I’m talking about. That’s why no one will ever play the game of Taboo with us.

Just as there’s a special bond that comes with being sisters, there’s also a special kind of torment that an older sister reserves for the younger one. My mom likes to tell a story about when I was three years old and dragging my blanket down the hall…with little baby Gill asleep on the end. I told my mom that I was taking my blanket back. I also used to hide her stuffed orange Kitty, which she loved, in places like the freezer, or the microwave, and she would tell my mom she knew I was up to something because I was “smiling my mean smile.” I told her that I didn’t know what she was talking about. [Ed. note: This was the point in the toast when Darren confirmed my accusation that Melia has a mean smile. It's a fact; it's time to admit it.]

Probably right before she tried to feed the baby raisins

Of course, we had tons of happy times, too. We used to dress up Barbies while we watched terrible daytime TV during school vacations. We decorated the Christmas tree every year while listening to “Funky Funky Xmas” by New Kids on the Block. Actually, we still do.

San Francisco, 1986

Gill has always been so mature that I’ve always felt more a peer than someone three years older and wiser. I’ve always admired her for being the trailblazer in our family. She got her ears pierced first, moved across the country first, and now she’s getting married first. People ask me if it’s strange for me to have my little sister get married first, and I tell them that I love it, because when it’s my turn, she can tell me what to do.

I’ve always admired Gill for her courage to try new things no matter what anyone else is doing, and for so many other reasons. She has the entire package — she’s intelligent and beautiful, adventurous and active, creative and funny. And the biggest feat of all is that people don’t hate her for it. Quite the opposite. Girls love her because she will take them for a manicure and a martini when they’re feeling down. Guys love her because she’ll drink Miller High Lifes and play tackle football. It’s impossible not to love her. In fact, there’s a Cowboy Mouth song called “Everybody Loves Jill,” and they do not tell a lie.

I could never picture a guy who would suit Gill, a guy who A) wouldn’t be intimidated by all of her charms, and B) would bring just as much to the table. Brian surprised me by having both of these qualities and being an excellent fit for Gill. He shares her sense of humor, and like Gill, he’s smart, passionate, artistic, and really really ridiculously good-looking. One day they will have children and give rise to a superior hybrid race. When they do have kids, don’t be surprised if you never get a traditional holiday card from their family, the kind of posed studio portrait with matching sweaters. Instead, they’ll all probably dress up as Christmas pirates or will be leaping around in full-body spandex and afro wigs. (Brian, I’m not referring to any real events here).

Gill and Brian’s song, which will be their first dance and inspired the inscription on their rings, is Jack Johnson’s “Better Together,” and they really are. They’re one of those couples where the girl is cool, the guy is cool, and together they’re fantastic. They’re two talented individuals who have a synergy, meaning that their combined energy is more powerful than each alone.

I know that we’re all relieved that they’ll actually be ABLE to be together, since they’ve had to be apart during much of their four-year relationship. The summer after Gill’s college graduation, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, and they had to evacuate. At that point, Gill left for France and they did long distance for the better part of a year. Then Brian was deployed, came back briefly, and was deployed again. When Gill and Bri finally settle into a normal routine, I think we’ll have to storm their house in the middle of the night just to make them feel at home.

Brian, you are one lucky guy to get to be Gill’s husband. I know this because I got to be her pseudo-husband when Gill and I lived together in San Francisco during your first deployment. She and I would make nachos and watch our favorite TV shows every week, go grocery shopping together, and even be each other’s date for weddings. (Sorry, that’s why she tries to lead now every time you two dance.) When she moved away, I missed my partner in crime like crazy. I used to burst into tears every time I walked past her bedroom door. The only thing that made it easier was knowing that you two were happy. Plus, I bought a spinning wheel and a few dozen cats to keep me company until I met Darren.

Gill, I can’t believe that you’re all growns up. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me, and how happy I am that you’ve found the perfect guy for you. I can’t wait until we live in the same place again.

Brian, I know you appreciate Gill as much as I do, and you’ll be as good a husband to her as I was. Welcome to the family. You fit right in, and we love you already.

Now, everyone, please raise your glasses for a toast. Baby Sis, and my new Little Bro, may your lives continue to be better together. Cheers!

Whenever I get together with my girlfriends, a few things tend to happen. 1) We have a couple of drinks, 2) We wear silly costumes, 3) We dance wildly in public places not necessarily meant for dancing and 4) We take hundreds of pictures of us loving on each other.

All four of these things happened in excess the night of my bachelorette party, and I am still coming down from that high. New Orleans didn’t know what it was getting into when it let 20 of us run wild and unchaperoned through the streets.

Smooth, Nicole.

Lovely Loyola ladies.

California girls… so classy.

We took over the top floor of Mimi’s in the Marigny, toasting with champagne, feasting on tapas and shimmying to a washboard band.

I always wanted to be serenaded by a man with a washboard. 

“Ain’t no thang!”

Then we went to our old stomping ground, One Eyed Jacks (formerly the Shim Sham) where Kaila, Parisa and I have spent many a Thursday night tearing up the dance floor to ’80s new wave music and drinking $1 High Lifes.

Oh, my favorite Asian sassypants pixies. 

Arrggghh!

Those long flowing locks…

Scratch that. Those long flowing locks.

It was an amazing night. I love, love, love my girls, and I never thought I would have the chance to see so many of them in the same place at the same time.

Katie Ide and I often say, half-jokingly (but not really), “Why are we so awesome?! I feel sad for people who aren’t us.” I think this perfectly describes all of my girlfriends, a group of women who are as intelligent as they are sassy, as strong as they are generous and as creative as they are hilarious. I looked around that night and saw the women who have seen me at my best and my worst– who comforted me through incoherent sobbing fits, traveled with me halfway across the world, primped with me before big events and slapped some sense into me when I started to talk crazy.

Sista, sista!

To Melia, thank you for being my best friend, mentor and confidante for the past 25 years. You are amazing for planning such a perfect celebration. I adore you.

To my girls who were there and to those who couldn’t make it, I love you all and can’t wait until we can get together again. Vegas next year?

I used to tease Brian by asking obnoxious questions like, “What would you do if I wrote you love letters printed in Papyrus?” or “What if my favorite font were Comic Sans?” Brian was not amused. His answer to the former question was, “If you did that, you’d either not know me at all or you’d know me very well and would be actively trying to hurt me. I don’t know what’s worse.” He wouldn’t even answer the other question.

This may sound silly, but design is very, very important to Bri. He values aesthetics, which I guess I should take as a compliment. He designed all of the printed materials for our wedding, centering them around the quote we used for our save-the-dates: “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile” (Franklin P. Jones). Well played, Brian. Well played. Though I think Curlz really would have added a certain something…

Invitation

Map

RSVP postcard

Wedding favor CD label

Wedding CD cover

Wedding CD song list

I told you this would be all out of order. I tried for about five minutes to write about the wedding in sequence, but I’ve already given up the idea that I can think or write in a linear fashion. I’m embracing my moderate-to-severe adult ADD and will write about things as I think about them. It is my blog, after all, so no judgment.

I’d like to take a moment to pay homage to a special man… someone who brings out the best in me and who tries to overlook my flaws and shortcomings. That man, of course, is our wedding photographer, Marc Pagani.

All photos by Marc Pagani 

I don’t think I can overstate my adoration for Marc (I swear not in a creepy, I’m-watching-you-right-now kind of way). As a former phot-ho myself, it was really essential for me to find a photographer who would take beautiful, creative and, most importantly, non-vomit-inducing pictures. I feel a little ill every time I see a soft-focus image of a newlywed couple’s left hands intertwined.

I came across the Wedding Photojournalist Association way back in January and thought I had died and gone to heaven. Finally, photographers who take original, interesting photos that really capture the excitement and emotion of weddings.

I looked at all the WPA photographers in New Orleans, and Marc was head and shoulders above the rest. His portfolio was incredible, and I immediately emailed him to see if he was available for our wedding day. At one point, a few other couples were inquiring about January 17 before we had signed a contract and put down a deposit. I told Marc we were prepared to duke it out with these other people and would like to nail down the date before things got ugly. He responded, “I think you could take these other couples if it came to blows.” That’s when I knew we’d get along just fine.

He showed up the morning of the wedding to take getting ready pictures of the girls. I hadn’t slept at all the night before, was wearing no makeup and looked a little like Charlize Theron in that movie where she played a serial killer. HOTT. God bless him, he didn’t take many close-ups until I had finished my coffee and was looking more like a real human female, thanks to the magic of make-up.

For the rest of the day, Marc was amazing. He was a good taskmaster during the group portraits (wrangling 40 people takes a certain kind of patience I don’t possess) and then completely unobtrusive the rest of the day. Whenever the thought, “Oh, that’ll be a nice shot; I hope Marc gets it,” crossed my mind, I’d look around and he’d already be there, shooting away. He may have been a spy before he became a photographer… cat-like reflexes.

We were only supposed to have him shoot until 8 p.m., but the party was just getting into full swing then, so he generously rearranged his schedule so he could stay until 10. If any of y’all are getting married in NOLA soon, I can’t recommend Marc highly enough.

And, as if he needed any more brownie points, he wrote this about us in his wedding photography blog: “Gillian and Brian are one of THOSE couples…you know the type…happy….in love…they make each other laugh…they throw fun parties.  I love shooting THOSE kind of couples!” Awesome. We do throw fun parties. 

Check out the rest of Marc’s portfolio and the rest of his photos from our wedding.

At our wedding and rehearsal dinner, we received some beautiful toasts from our friends and family. I pretty much cried and laughed like a crazy person throughout every speech at our wedding, and I’m hoping to post some videos if I can track any down (all you Flip Cam videographers, give me a holla).

Just when I thought I was done getting teary, Lil Lisa sucker punched me with this written tribute. Lisa, we love you, and this is perhaps the nicest thing anyone has ever written about me.

I returned to DC on Sunday from the the best wedding I’ve ever attended. What made it the best was not that it was giant or showy or expensive (none of the above); rather, it was the overwhelming feeling of love and positivity and happiness that surrounds this couple. They are people who open others’ eyes, who make everyone around them better and happier. Bri and Gill are excellent apart, but together they form a beautiful team, a rarity among couples, and a ridiculously good-looking pair. They give me hope for my future, because I want for myself a version of what they already have. They are an inspiration; I am honored and blessed to be part of their lives.

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. It was fairly evident in the 10 or so toasts that were made at the wedding that everyone they know has a story to share or feelings to express about them (on that note, let’s congratulate Ma and Pa Burgess for not aborting Brian … OK, I’ll leave that speech alone).

And as if they weren’t great enough, they know how to pick some cool, talented friggin’ friends. I haven’t met anyone through them that I DON’T like. Brian’s friends that I hadn’t met before were fun, exciting and hilarious. Gill’s friends were, of course, the same.

To my friends, to all of our mutual college friends, you are the most welcoming, honest, down-to-earth people I know. It’s only among true friends that I am comfortable, willing to be myself without fear of being laughed at or judged. We accept each others’ faults and embrace each others’ strengths, and that isn’t easy to find. We can go months or years without talking and still slip easily into conversation, back into the old groove again. We encourage each other to reach for our dreams and never, ever settle. When someone is down, we do not dwell on the negative, but offer kindness and support until that person is up again. I can’t count the times throughout the past few years where one of you has lent a shoulder or an ear; Gill and Brian supporting me through my West Coast man troubles; Chuck letting me cry on him when I finally realized that my anxiety was too much to handle by myself; Kaila reassuring me and letting me know that I’m not alone; sharing copy desk shenanigans with Katie Ide; and so much more. You have all made me a better person.

If any one of you is ever hurt, I will be there to stand by your side or to elbow the fuck out of the person who caused the pain.

It is my hope that we stay lifelong friends, perhaps because I really want to see some hot biracial babies! Awww yeah. My adopted Chinese daughter is totally gonna marry one of the Burgess-Dicker kids one day.

This is my toast to Brian and Gill – keep doing what you’re doing, don’t stop believin’, et cetera. Get ready for everyone to visit you in Hawaii. Oh, and nothing’s official until it’s on facebook, so you’re not really married yet.

Why, hello, friends. It has been far too long. It seems I went and got married since I last updated No Dowry.

Beautiful photo montage by my cousin, Jeremy Mau

The last time I posted, on January 12, I had these lofty goals for the week of the wedding. I was going to blog daily about the last-minute madness before the wedding– the mini sweatshop of friends putting together wedding favors and centerpieces in our living room, the headache of wrangling florists and babysitters and chauffeurs, the wave of friends and family flying in town before the bachelor/bachelorette parties and rehearsal– and hilarity would ensue.

Yeah… the funny thing about all that madness is that it leaves very little time for witty commentary. I was pretty much a crazy hermit lady with 100 to-do lists instead of 100 cats.

Now that Brian and I are all married and back from our honeymoon, I want to go back and reflect on our wedding weekend in a series of posts (accompanied by lots and lots of photos). I’ve been so wrapped up in planning everything that I didn’t fully grasp how incredible and emotional it would be to celebrate our marriage surrounded by the people who are most important to us.

All weekend, from the bachelorette party to the morning-after recovery party at Molly’s, I kept looking around in amazement at our high school friends, our college friends, our families, our work friends, everyone in one place and getting along famously. I got verklempt more times than I can count. I love you guys, and you made our wedding the best damn party I could have hoped for.

Photo courtesy of Miss Lisa Campo

So, over the next few weeks, you can expect to read more than you ever wanted to know about the following topics (probably not in order and woven in with what’s going on at the moment):

• Last-minute preparations and the final designs from my talented husband (I’ve been practicing using that word, but it still does not come naturally. For the record, I will never use the word “hubby.”)
•  The bachelorette party, organized by my amazing sister and maid of honor, Melia
• The day before the wedding– martinis for lunch and insomnia for dinner
• The wedding day, night and after-party into the wee hours
• The honeymoon– two glorious weeks in Panama and the Caribbean

In the meantime, some of our friends have already written beautiful posts about the wedding. Read and enjoy:

Ide:

• This time, I mean it.
• Blam!

Gener:

• Best Wedding Ever. No. Seriously. Part I.
  
• Part II.
• Part III.
• Part IV.

Lisa:

• where has the time gone? 
• With her permission, I may later post the incredible post-wedding toast she wrote.

Kathleen:

• La Mia Famiglia